Stress can do this to you

Stress is Sabotaging Your Diet Success

By Lucy Danziger

If there's one thing that gets in the way of you being your healthiest, it's stress. For anyone who's found themselves standing in front of the freezer inhaling spoonfuls of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream (not my real name!) to avoid finishing a project, or waking up three times in the wee hours of the night in anticipation of a difficult conversation, here's some not-so-shocking news: Research shows that anxiety can make you sleep fewer hours, get sick more often, remember less, become more prone to long-term disease and—as if you needed reminding—eat more. No wonder up to 90 percent of doctor visits are for stress-related complaints, a fact that I suspect too many of you know firsthand (though you experience it as GI distress, back pain, a headache or other physical symptom).

In a recent Self.com poll, 85 percent of women said that worries interfere with their ability to catch zzz's, while 71 percent say they're more irritable due to stress. And given the recent headlines about the state of our economy, it's not surprising that 52 percent of women say they are under considerably more stress than they were six months ago. (What is your stress level?)

Grim, yes, but there IS hope. Just as our bodies are wired to react to stress, we're all also programmed to know how to wind down, whether it's by watching a funny movie, sitting in the sauna, sipping some chamomile tea (while dunking a cookie, of course!) or drinking a glass (or two) of wine with dinner. These activities switch on the brain's pleasure centers, blocking the production of the stress hormone cortisol and churning out happiness-inducing chemicals like serotonin instead.

When I feel a tightening in my back or neck coming on, I cope by doing things I love, like going for a long, slow run in the park with my dog. Try a few of these instant soothers, and watch your own stress go from ARGH! to Ahhh.

Turn up the tunes. Listening to music that has a steady (not frenetic) beat may cause brain waves to keep time and relax you, research from a music symposium at Stanford University in California reports. Load your iPod with a playlist of the songs that make you happiest.

Phone a friend. Pouring your heart out to pals can help you cope with bad feelings and brainstorm new ways to solve problems. And don't forget to return the favor: Lending an ear and offering support can make you feel needed and reduce anxiety. (Or drop them an e-card to say thanks!)

Break a sweat. Exercising for 30 minutes makes your body release chemicals that dull the physiological effects of stress response for up to a full day. But the effect only works when the activity is something you really want to do, so make sure you're psyched about channeling your energy in that cardiovascular direction.

Use a better bulb. Outfit your office lamp with an incandescent bulb, particularly if your cubicle is brightened by fluorescent lights. Incandescent and fluorescent lights work together to more closely mimic outside light. And it's sunshine (or the perception of it) that regulates the body's biorhythms. Not getting enough of it can affect hormone levels, suppressing the immune system and increasing the probability of mood swings, depression and sluggishness.

Pamper yourself. Whether you get a pedicure or splurge on a blowout, giving yourself special treatment reduces your blood pressure and gets your mind off what’s bothering you. Science supports this coping mechanism as well: A warm bath can activate neurons that increase serotonin, and a study from Bowling Green State University in Ohio found that a 15-minute massage can significantly cut anxiety levels. Not up for a splurge? Get the same effect from an at-home pedicure, manicure or blowout.

Dine by candlelight. The effect won't just make you look gorgeous. The dim setting actually signals your brain to release melatonin, the good-for-you sleep hormone which ensures a better night's rest. And catching enough zzz's helps keep your stress levels under control and your immune system humming. Can't sleep? See what your stress dreams are trying to tell you.

Snuggle with your sweetie. A simple 20-second kiss or hug increases endorphin levels, while having sex releases more calming hormones than any other form of sex play, researchers at the University of the West of Scotland at Paisley note.

Keep a journal. Jotting down your stressful thoughts can help you look at them more logically, potentially easing anxiety, mentally and physically. A study in the Journal of Health Psychology finds that a mere month of expressive writing can help reduce hypertension. Keep a pretty notebook handy at all times.

Anticipate something awesome. Or something tiny that makes you smile. The point is to look forward to something each day, whether it’s enjoying your morning java or counting down to an exotic vacation. Practicing this will keep your mind from focusing on what could go wrong that day.

Exhibit your exhilarating moments. Tape up pictures of three amazing days you’ve experienced, such as dancing at your wedding or crossing the finish line of a half-marathon. Honing in on the images for at least 10 seconds can lower muscle tension and stabilize your heartbeat.

Give someone props. Go on, pay a compliment to someone deserving. Research has shown that the more warm personal connections you make, the better your body is at jettisoning the effects of stress.

Boost Your Mood with Color

Tips to find energy, happiness or calm
By Milena Damjanov, Health Magazine

We all have natural reactions to color—a clear blue sky can make you feel more peaceful; a bunch of daffodils, more optimistic. So it’s no surprise that the colors in your home can have an impact on your mood, too. Red, for instance, tends to be stimulating, and blue, calming, says color researcher Nancy J. Stone, PhD, a professor of psychology at Creighton University. How pure and bright a shade is can come into play, too, as well as personal associations with the color. Here’s how you can tap into the power of color to feel happier, calmer, or more inspired—without a huge paint job.

Energy: red and violet

These two stimulating colors boost your energy level by causing your body to pump out more adrenaline, says Leslie Harrington, a founder of LH Color, a color-consulting and research firm in Old Greenwich, Conn. One British study found that when evenly matched Olympic athletes competed, those wearing red won significantly more than their blue-wearing opponents. These high-energy colors are especially good in home offices, entryways, small sitting rooms, or staircases. (Avoid them in the bedroom and bathroom, where you want to relax. You may want to skip these colors in the kitchen, too, because energizing hues can boost your appetite.) If you want to feel inspired but not wired, add just a touch here and there—a red-leather magazine caddy or even a big bunch of fresh red or purple flowers, suggests Shane Reilly, a San Francisco–based interior designer.

Happy: green and yellow

Want to feel more upbeat? Bring in the colors of sunshine and spring fields. In a study from the Vrije Universiteit in Amsterdam, adults reported feeling happier around these two colors. Soft or pale yellows are ideal for playrooms and children’s rooms. Add a new rug. Or paint just the ceiling to create a sunny feel, a favorite technique of New York City–based interior designer Thomas Jayne—try Benjamin Moore’s Aura in banana yellow and add a lighter-color paint to tone down the hue as desired. Green is an especially good pick to brighten rooms with mostly neutral tones. Toss two celadon-colored throw pillows on a taupe sofa, or display your favorite black-and-white photos in a large bright olive-green picture frame.

Calm: blue

Most of us choose blue as our favorite color, and it’s really no wonder. Blue is a very soothing hue—it’s the color of the sky and the sea—and we can all use soothing touches of it in our hectic lives. In one of Stone’s studies, she found that people who were faced with difficult tasks felt less anxious after they saw something blue. Because the color is relaxing, you can feel free to use it more liberally than happy or energizing colors—it will work well in any room where you long to feel less stressed. Be sure to stick with soft, muted blues, though; the brighter, stronger shades, such as French blue, can actually have a stimulating effect. Try adding a touch of this serene shade where you need it most: near your bill-paying station, perhaps.

from Health.com

Foolproof Ways to Battle Anxiety

By Rebecca Ruiz, Forbes.com

Forbes

If the Dow just closed after a dismal day of trading and a tightening sensation is beginning to spread through your chest, stop and try this exercise:

Instead of focusing on the money you've already lost or obsessing over future losses, try zeroing in on the present moment. Let go of distractions like a looming bill or the record unemployment rate and concentrate on your breath. Take in all the air you can, pause and then release.

"It's actually totally boring concentrating on your breath," says Dr. Michael J. Baime, director of the Penn Program for Stress Management at the University of Pennsylvania Health System. "Lifting a barbell is totally boring too, but it's exercising a muscle." After 10 repetitions, he says, you should start to feel some degree of calm.

In Pictures: Nine Ways to Battle Anxiety

Though anxiety is the body's natural response to a threat, that alarm system sometimes sounds unnecessarily, cluttering the mind with the chatter of negative thinking. The breathing exercise helps divert the mind's attention elsewhere.

Controlled breathing isn't the only strategy for anxiety relief, either. Others include engaging the brain and body, cognitive and behavioral adjustments, and meditative techniques.

The origins of anxiety

If it's difficult to understand why you are plagued by certain anxious thoughts, don't take it personally—it's a phenomenon that still eludes scientists. What is known, says Dr. Sonia Bishop, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, is that anxiety involves responses in two parts of the brain: the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex.

The amygdala is responsible for the fight-or-flight response, while the prefrontal cortex controls executive functions like decision-making and planning. A human foraging for berries, for example, would use the prefrontal cortex to decide which berries to collect. If a predator suddenly jumped from the bushes, the amygdala would sound the alarm.

Scientists don't fully understand why certain individuals are more prone to anxiety, but some theories suggest varying levels of neurotransmitters—the chemicals that relay signals between neurons and cells and affect how well the amygdala and pre-frontal cortex function—may play an important role.

What interests Bishop, however, is how the anxiety-ridden can reverse course regardless of pre-disposition. That's why she recently conducted a brain-imaging study with 17 participants, some of whom had "high trait anxiety," which was determined using a standardized measurement.

While being monitored by an MRI that tracks changes in brain activity, each participant had to engage the pre-frontal cortex by identifying certain letters and ignoring others. When the task increased in difficulty, both groups did well on recruiting that region of the brain. But when the task was easy, those with trait anxiety did a poor job. This was particularly telling, says Bishop, because the participants were not exposed to any anxiety-triggering threats.

The results have led her to believe that the anxiety-prone may have difficulty preventing the mind from lingering on distractions when performing easy, day-to-day tasks.

Though not yet tested by other scientists, Bishop's conclusion seems to reflect what works well in other successful techniques for battling anxiety: meaningful distraction.

Overcoming anxiety

You could try informally testing Bishop's theory by doing a crossword puzzle instead of watching TV. More commonly accepted remedies for curbing anxiety include socializing and exercise, the latter of which can increase levels of dopamine, the body's naturally occurring, mood-boosting chemical. Such distractions are most effective, though, when paired with a real effort to switch your focus.

In the simplest terms, that's what Dr. Israel Liberzon, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Michigan, tries to teach his patients. Using cognitive and behavioral techniques, Liberzon shows patients—many of whom suffer from anxiety disorders—how to change the way they deal with their worries.

Often he advocates for reconsidering what you associate with anxiety, trying to judge perceived threats using a more rational scale or creating an emotional distance from certain fears. In other words, putting things in perspective.

But since that reaction is hardly intuitive, Liberzon recommends seeking out professional help. In addition to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, a nonprofit organization that provides information on anxiety treatments, Liberzon says support groups and local universities with anxiety and stress research centers can serve as useful resources.

Asthma and Anxiety: Which Comes First?

Because one can cause the other, it can be tricky to tell the two apart.
By Dr. Rob for MSN Health & Fitness

Q: I think I have asthma that is triggered by cold air, exercise, and my allergy to hay (I live on a farm). I am also a very emotional person and experience chest tightness and have difficulty taking deep breaths during times of high stress. Are these feelings signs of panic attacks or symptoms of my asthma?

A: If your symptoms during times of high stress are similar to what you experience when you are around hay, exercising, or out in cold air, they may be related to your asthma. However, panic attacks may also trigger chest tightness and breathing difficulty, so the two may be interrelated. Either way, the key is in knowing your asthma triggers (stress, allergy, etc.) and taking actions to decrease or prevent the cascade of symptoms from occurring.

Is it asthma?

Asthma is a respiratory problem that constricts the muscles surrounding the airways and causes the tissues in those very same airways to become inflamed and swollen. This two-pronged attack causes the airways to narrow and reduces the available space for airflow to occur. While some people do not have any symptoms and become used to this restriction (unless it gets worse), others may experience symptoms that include but aren't limited to:

• Difficulty when taking a deep breath
• Chest tightness
• Coughing, especially late at night or early in the morning
• Wheezing
• Trouble "catching their breath"

In determining whether or not you have asthma, it would be helpful to provide the answers to the following questions:

• What are your symptoms (coughing, wheezing, chest tightness, etc.)?
• Did you experience these as a child?
• Have you ever been hospitalized for a respiratory condition?
• When do the symptoms occur (after exercise, at night, during the pollen season, after a respiratory infection, after eating certain foods, when you are upset, etc.)?
• How often do they occur (daily, weekly, a few times per month)?
• Where do the symptoms occur (at work, home, when outside, anywhere)?
• Were your parents or siblings affected by asthma?
• Have you been checked for medical conditions such as gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), allergic rhinitis, anxiety disorder, sleep apnea or chronic sinus disease?

Next, your physician will perform a thorough examination and listen to your heart and lungs. Depending upon the results, tests may be ordered to either confirm or rule out the diagnosis of asthma. These include but aren't limited to:

• Spirometry—Measurement of how much air moves in and out of your lungs, as well as the speed at which you can exhale.
• Peak flow meter—This tool measures how well air is moving out of your lungs. This is a hand-held device that may be used to help decide what medications are needed if you have flare-ups of asthma.
• Broncho-provocation test—Checks the sensitivity of your airways to common occurrences such as during exercise or exposure to cold air.
• Allergy testing (sensitivity to sulfites in foods or drinks, allergens such as pollen or mold, etc.).
• Chest X-ray and/or computed tomography (CT) scan of the sinuses.
• Upper gastrointestinal study or endoscopy to check for GERD as a possible contributor to the "asthma-like" symptoms.

If asthma is the diagnosis, preventive measures are a key step toward decreasing the flare-up of symptoms. For example, in those with exercise-induced asthma, medications may be advised prior to exercise. If allergies are the trigger, antihistamines, anti-inflammatory inhalers, allergy shots and/or allergy avoidance measures may be advised.

Is it a panic attack?

These very scary and real feelings may come "out of the blue" or be triggered by a specific event (trouble breathing, personal loss, illness, etc.). They tend to last several minutes (although they seem to last forever) and can sometimes cause the affected person to be so fearful that they literally don't leave their home or environment unless they know they can "control the situation."

The symptoms vary with the individual, but often include one of a combination of:

• Difficulty breathing
• Chest tightness
• Tingling or numbness in the hands or fingers
• Rapid breathing and heart rate, increased perspiration
• A feeling of lightheadedness or that you are about to pass out
• Fear of dying or of not being able to "get out" of the situation, triggering a "need to escape"
• Symptoms of another illness you are trying to avoid (stomach cramps, dizzy feeling, chest pains, etc.)

Anxiety and asthma

Emotional stressors can be a triggering factor for asthma flares. Given that you may have a panic-anxiety reaction or possibly be affected by panic-anxiety disorder itself, treatment techniques aimed at decreasing your stress-induced breathing response will go a long way toward improving your quality of life. This makes it important to speak with your doctor and ask for a referral to a behavioral health specialist (psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental-health professional) trained and skilled in the diagnosis and treatment of panic anxiety disorder. Approaches that may help include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy—Treatment that focuses on the thinking pattern (worry about a future event, thinking the worst possible scenario will occur, etc.) and behaviors that stimulate the panic attack, then re-trains your thinking to know that the anticipation of the worst possible outcome (can't breathe, etc.) will usually not occur. This technique is often very successful in stopping the "irrational" thoughts that trigger the panic reaction, while facilitating a more rational (and calming) thought process.
• Exposure therapy—"Facing your fears" by being exposed to situations that trigger your response, then learning healthier techniques to help you cope.
• Medications—Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications.
• Biofeedback, yoga, and/or meditation—These can help to control the breathing response as well as strengthen your ability to "relax."

It may also help to avoid tobacco, excess alcohol and caffeine, as these products may put you at a higher risk for an anxiety-triggered stress response. Even certain medications (beta-agonist inhalers that are used to control asthma, stimulants, energy supplements, etc.) may cause a jittery or anxious feeling in some individuals and should be discussed with your physician.

Asthma control may bring peace of mind

Anyone who repeatedly experiences asthma symptoms may get anxious in anticipation of the next time they can't breathe. This has the potential to set up a pattern of behavior where the worry and expectation of these breathing difficulties may actually trigger the very same symptoms you want to avoid.

Needless to say, asthma is personal and is best approached by developing an asthma action plan with your doctor. This helps to identify (and possibly avoid) your asthma triggers, selects the proper medication(s) to control the severity and frequency of the asthma flares, and prepares you to use "rescue" medications if symptoms become more severe. And, by taking control of your asthma with the knowledge your breathing will be okay, you may be armed with the reassurance you need to prevent your asthma related stress response from playing havoc with your day.

Strip Away Stress

By Steve Calechman, Best Life

Best Life

The biggest health threat for men isn't heart disease or cancer. It's the out-of-control stress reactions that cause or worsen those conditions in the first place. We talked to America's coolest characters to learn how they cope. Steal their secrets and you'll thrive in life's pressure points—like they do.

The Stressor: All eyes are on you at a critical moment in the game (or the presentation, or the ceremony).

Beat that stress: When you establish a routine, the difficult becomes routine. Chauncey Billups, a Detroit Pistons point guard, describes his formula for nailing two free throws to tie a game in the fourth quarter: "I know it's a big shot, but I don't even think about the moment. If I put more pressure on it, then it becomes a mental thing. I treat it the same as a free throw in the first quarter by doing the same routine every single time. I focus on the rim. I take four dribbles, spin the ball, and get up under it. My routine puts me into a calm state. It's just me and the rim."

The Stressor: You've seen your friends' marriages, and worry that you'll end up with the wrong person.

Beat that stress: Ask yourself a few essential questions. Are you attracted to her? Do you play well together? Is she unselfish? Does she treat people well and talk positively about past relationships? Does she recognize her family's shortcomings and take corrective steps? Is she respectful of you? Does she share the soap in the shower? If you have a string of positive answers, you have a fun, responsible, thoughtful person at your side, says John Van Epp, Ph.D., a clinical counselor based in Medina, Ohio, and the author of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk. That probably qualifies her as a keeper.

The Stressor: Your boss is hassling you, and you're about to explode.

Beat that stress: Call a time out. If you're in the thick of battle, go wash your hands. Removing yourself provides the chance to think and not say the wrong thing. While you're gone, let yourself be upset. "Anger and agitation tend to be short-lived when you let them play out internally," says Melissa Blacker, a director of professional training at the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts medical school. When you're calm, go to your boss and say, "What can I do to help work this out?" He's probably braced for a fight, so he's bound to welcome the collaborative tone. At the very least, you've expressed yourself. Letting your anger fester increases the chance you'll overreact.

The Stressor: Your dad died and you don't know what to do.

Beat that stress: For two days every week, schedule 10 minutes to grieve. Unless you plan, it's too easy to dodge the sadness—especially in the first couple of months after the funeral. And taking control of the process prevents unresolved issues from lingering. Shoot for early evening, when anything kicked up won't affect your sleep. Take a five-minute walk to unwind, then pull out photos to bring the departed front and center. Now ask two questions: What have you lost? What's the effect? You see what's missing from your life, so you can shift to problem solving, says Michael McKee, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. Now hit the gym. It'll end the grieving session, and the endorphins will lift your mood. Overall, doing the two activities will model what you're striving for—the knowledge that sad and happy can coexist.

The Stressor: Your to-do list at work reads like a phone book, except it's less interesting.

Beat that stress: Add 10 more entries. Here's how actor Craig Bierko, most recently of "Boston Legal" fame, keeps his lid from flipping. "First, I keep in mind that on-the-job stress is an indication that I'm doing well. I could certainly experience far less stress lying around all day watching "Ellen" reruns. Then I practice something called 'the grateful flow.' It's far cheaper than Prozac. I list ten things for which I'm grateful. Remind yourself of the friend who's always been there, the fact that you can afford your next meal. And include your job. Sure, it's the reason you're making the list in the first place. But where would you be without it?"

The Stressor: Your team's success (or failure) is hanging on your performance in the ultimate contest.

Beat that stress: Focus on the now as well as the later. Martin Brodeur, star goalie for the New Jersey Devils, uses these techniques when he faces Game 7 in the playoffs: "When it becomes stressful, I overbreathe. That opens up everything and makes me aware of the situation I'm in. I also make sure my feet are together as much as possible and that they're really under me. With my feet together, I'm compact. It's less tiring, and I'm lighter on my skates. As for when I'm not on the ice? Before Game 7 of the 2003 Stanley Cup finals I booked a vacation online. It took me out of the anxiety of facing a Game 7." (The Devils won that game, 3-0.)

The Stressor: You're due at Grandma's, the storm is roaring, and you need to pilot the clan safely.

Beat that stress: Be meticulous in your preflight prep. That's what Rob Kinkade, a bush pilot, does before taking off for what he calls a "rodeo day" in the bucking bronco of Alaska's airspace. "If I know it'll be rough out there, I'll meticulously check everything two or three times—the flight plans, my fuel, the wings. It gives me peace of mind. If I take care of the downside first, the upside will take care of itself. If it's rough and I see people worrying, I'll sing or make a joke or grab the stick with one hand and drink a soda with the other, to show that it's not affecting me, even if it is. I'm lightening my mood, and it's kind of contagious."

The Stressor: You're an hour into the first date and it's going nowhere.

Beat that stress: Ask her what she likes about her best friend. Relationships are sources of pride and endless fascination for women. By delving into her life, you're trying to understand her, and everyone loves being understood. "It defuses a lot of the tension," says Ann Demarais, Ph.D., a psychologist and coauthor of First Impressions: What You Don't Know about How Others See You.

The Stressor: Your kid's stressing but won't tell you what it's about.

Beat that stress: Take him on a long car ride. It's private, and there's little else to do but talk. Start out casually, and eventually bring up the struggles you faced at his age. He'll either identify or tell you that it's completely different now. Either way, the opening is there to gently find out which of three areas—school, friends, or family—isn't working. "You're getting new information and can take it to where the problem belongs," says Irene Goldenberg, Ed.D., a family psychologist based in Los Angeles.

The Stressor: You have to make your case or lose the day.

Beat that stress: Before the straining, go into training. Steven D. Benjamin, a criminal-defense attorney in Richmond, Va., believes that discipline always carries the day. "Before the trial starts, everything in my life becomes more regimented. I don't drink or go out, and I become more obsessive than usual about my workout. A trial is an endurance event, and training for it makes me much more alert. I also take care of my team members. I can't see everything at trial. They're my auxiliary hard drive, and they give me peace of mind."

The Stressor: Your kid is really into playing a violent video game.

Beat that stress: Observe, or play it with him. Encroaching on his territory removes some of the rebellious fun, but you'll also learn his perspective, says Jeff Bostic, M.D., a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital. Make no comments during the game, and at the end, say, "What did you enjoy most about it? That was a little weird for me to be gunning down all those cops." You might find out that he clearly distinguishes fantasy from reality and that his bloody game is just a bloody game.

The Stressor: Your name is all over a mistake and you have to tell the boss.

Beat that stress: As soon as possible, go to the boss and own up, but immediately follow that with what you've learned and (the most important factor) how things will be different. It won't guarantee a full pardon, but you won't have to stew over the unknown. "You will have made a problem less bad, and that's the goal of damage control," says Eric Dezenhall, the author of Damage Control: Why Everything You Know about Crisis Management Is Wrong.

The Stressor: You have to give some tough criticism to an employee.

Beat that stress: Deliver the bad with an ample dose of the good. Saying nothing when things are acceptable does not count, says Albert Bernstein, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of Emotional Vampires. Keep track in your head. Your kind-to-unkind ratio has to be 4:1 to ensure that respect is built up and communication lines stay open. After that, structure the bad news like, "When you're late, I feel like you're not fully committed. Was that your intention?" You're making your point, but by giving him the benefit of the doubt, you're avoiding arguments that go quickly and resentfully to nowhere.

The Stressor: Your kid's soccer team is down 8-0 and your kid is the goalie.

Beat that stress: Focus on the success inherent in failure. Release tension by yelling encouraging stuff; you're concentrating positive energy on other people and helping the little version of yourself dying in front of the net. In the car after the game, tell him how proud you were of his bravery/composure/intensity and that you weren't disappointed in him. Share a quick story about how you once ate it. You want him to see that coming up short isn't the ultimate indignity. "Those who don't know how to fail are those who don't take chances," Dr. Bostic says.

The Stressor: It's review time and you know that you deserve more money.

Beat that stress: Repeat yourself. You think your value is obvious. Your boss has other distractions, so go in armed with bullet points of your achievements. But don't just say them once. "One plus one equals two, but so does four minus two," says Gregg Clifton, the chief operating officer of Gaylord Sports Management. Find different ways to support the same point. Lead with, "I increased sales 12 percent." Later, say, "About that 12 percent, it was 43 percent over the industry average ... it was the best the department has ever seen... expenses didn't rise at all." Hammering it from different angles will register with the man signing your soon-to-be-larger check.

The Stressor: You want to start dating again, but you still can't forget the ex.

Beat that stress: Confine her to paper. Make a list of all the things you're going to miss. Making a hard copy creates new connections in your brain, and, with that, new ways to consider your situation, says Peter Pearson, Ph.D., codirector of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, Calif. Look at the list and ask yourself if she has a monopoly on those qualities. If your answer is no, you can conceive of a future with someone else. You'll have a kind of emotional replacement to-do list, and there's nothing like a to-do list to turbocharge your psyche.

The Stressor: You need to handle all the details of a complex operation just so or disaster will ensue.

Beat that stress: In the moment before you begin, take a mental inventory of the critical steps to success. Here's how Ali Rezai, M.D., a neurosurgeon at the Cleveland Clinic, preps for the first cut. "While I'm scrubbing my hands, I'm reviewing all the aspects of the case. That puts me into a highly focused state and cleans my mind of distractions. During surgery, I'm constantly reviewing the steps with the operating-room staff. It takes everyone onto the next page and into a rhythm. When I'm faced with an emergency, the calmer I am, the calmer everyone else becomes."

The Stressor: You're meeting her family or friends for the first time.

Beat that stress: Channel Matt Lauer and be your charming, head-nodding, inquisitive best. Asking them questions takes the focus off you, and their judgment will be that you're concerned with and interested in others. Drop in a well-placed, "I love how she always wants to learn something new," to show that you understand and admire your new girlfriend — and to nail opening night, says the psychologist Ann Demarais. Bonus tip: When they ask you a question, focus on how it's asked—bluntly or anecdotally—and respond the same way. Rick Brinkman, author of Dealing with People You Can't Stand, says that matching question style and answer style gives you the best chance of being heard.

The Stressor: Success is at hand, if you can just close the deal.

Beat that stress: Don't try to be perfect. Just play your role and rely on others who are focused on the same goal. Joe Nathan, a Minnesota Twins reliever, has one of the most high-stress jobs in sports: closer. Here's his mental process, leading up to the last three outs: "Around the seventh inning, I go through some visualization—seeing myself on the mound, making certain pitches. It puts me in a relaxed state and allows me to focus on something I need to do rather than watching somebody else. When I'm on the mound, I try not to overthink the situation. It's about being aggressive, pounding the strike zone, and trusting my defense. It takes the heat off. I don't have to be perfect, so I can relax and throw a better pitch."

Provided by Best Life

Kiss Off Stress

Ten ways to beat stress in 10 minutes or less.
By Alison Kotch, Best Life

Did you know that the holiday season is the time of the year when you're most likely to die from a heart attack? According to research at the University of California, the deadliest day is Christmas, when you're 5 percent more likely to have a cardiac event. Of course, all the key stressors (finance, family, travel) seem destined to be worse this year (they always do). Since a restful night's sleep or an hour at the gym isn't always possible, here are 10 quick ways to stress less.

One second: Swear

Researchers at England's University of East Anglia Norwich looked into leadership styles and found that using swear words can reduce stress and boost camaraderie among coworkers. Good luck, #!$*&^*@!

Five seconds: Pop fish oil

According to research from the University of Pittsburgh, people with the highest blood levels of EPA and DHA omega-3 fatty acids are happier, less impulsive, and more agreeable. Try a daily supplement of 400 milligrams each of EPA and DHA fish oils.

10 seconds: Eat dark chocolate

A study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showed that the flavonoids in cocoa relax your body's blood vessels. Look for low-fat dark chocolate, which has more stress-busting flavonoids than milk chocolate.

30 seconds: Know your hoku

Acupressure is a quick tension releaser, according to researchers at Hong Kong Polytechnic University who found it can reduce stress by up to 39 percent. For fast relief, massage your hoku (the fleshy part between the thumb and index finger) for 20 to 30 seconds. "This is the universal pressure point for easing upper-body tension," says Patrice Winter, a spokeswoman for the American Physical Therapy Association.

30 seconds: Sit back

Forget what you've been told about sitting up straight to relieve tension in your back. Researchers at the University of Alberta Hospital in Canada found that leaning back at a 135-degree angle is the best sitting position for alleviating back pain.

One minute: Add garlic

Researchers at the University of Alabama at Birmingham believe they've figured out why garlic is good for heart health, and their finding implies it's a powerful stress buster too. When you digest garlic's main ingredient, organosulfur allicin, your body produces hydrogen sulfide, which relaxes blood vessels and increases blood flow.

Three minutes: Brew tea

In a study at University College in London, 75 men were given tea before completing two stressful tasks. Afterward, their cortisol levels dropped an average of 47 percent, compared with 27 percent for men who weren't given tea.

Five minutes: Take a YouTube timeout

Just the anticipation of laughing decreases the stress hormones dopac, cortisol, and epinephrine by 38, 39, and 70 percent, respectively, according to researchers at Loma Linda University in California. And when researchers at the University of Maryland showed short movie clips to study participants, those who watched funny films experienced a 22 percent increase in blood flow to their hearts.

Eight minutes: Budget wisely

"Money is the biggest source of stress for a man during the holidays," says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Financial Infidelity. And with good reason: Men who avoid making budgets spend an average of 36 percent more on holiday gifts than those who don't, according to a 2002 survey. So go easy on your wallet and your heart. Sit down with your wife and quickly calculate how much you two want to spend on gifts this year.

10 minutes: Just do it

Kissing or hugging your wife can reduce stress because it raises levels of oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding and love, say researchers at the University of North Carolina. And a Scottish researcher found that having sex regularly lowers anxiety, stress, and blood pressure.

The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the Moment

By Jay Dixit, PsychologyToday.com

Psychology Today

A friend was walking in the desert when he found the telephone to God. The setting was Burning Man, an electronic arts and music festival for which 50,000 people descend on Black Rock City, Nevada, for eight days of "radical self-expression"—dancing, socializing, meditating, and debauchery.

A phone booth in the middle of the desert with a sign that said "Talk to God" was a surreal sight even at Burning Man. The idea was that you picked up the phone, and God—or someone claiming to be God—would be at the other end to ease your pain.

So when God came on the line asking how he could help, my friend was ready. "How can I live more in the moment?" he asked. Too often, he felt, the beautiful moments of his life were drowned out by a cacophony of self-consciousness and anxiety. What could he do to hush the buzzing of his mind?

"Breathe," replied a soothing male voice.

My friend flinched at the tired new-age mantra, then reminded himself to keep an open mind. When God talks, you listen.

"Whenever you feel anxious about your future or your past, just breathe," continued God. "Try it with me a few times right now. Breathe in… breathe out." And despite himself, my friend began to relax.

You are not your thoughts

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what's past. "We're living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence," says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace. We're always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.

When we're at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don't appreciate the living present because our "monkey minds," as Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree.

Most of us don't undertake our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts control us. "Ordinary thoughts course through our mind like a deafening waterfall," writes Jon Kabat-Zinn, the biomedical scientist who introduced meditation into mainstream medicine. In order to feel more in control of our minds and our lives, to find the sense of balance that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause, and, as Kabat-Zinn puts it, to "rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being."

We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.

Cultivating a nonjudgmental awareness of the present bestows a host of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress, boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer. By alleviating stress, spending a few minutes a day actively focusing on living in the moment reduces the risk of heart disease. Mindfulness may even slow the progression of HIV.

Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their own weaknesses. Anchoring awareness in the here and now reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that underlie depression, binge eating, and attention problems. Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened. They fight less with their romantic partners and are more accommodating and less defensive. As a result, mindful couples have more satisfying relationships.

Mindfulness is at the root of Buddhism, Taoism, and many Native-American traditions, not to mention yoga. It's why Thoreau went to Walden Pond; it's what Emerson and Whitman wrote about in their essays and poems.

"Everyone agrees it's important to live in the moment, but the problem is how," says Ellen Langer, a psychologist at Harvard and author of Mindfulness (Da Capo Press, 1990). "When people are not in the moment, they're not there to know that they're not there." Overriding the distraction reflex and awakening to the present takes intentionality and practice.

Living in the moment involves a profound paradox: You can't pursue it for its benefits. That's because the expectation of reward launches a future-oriented mindset, which subverts the entire process. Instead, you just have to trust that the rewards will come. There are many paths to mindfulness—and at the core of each is a paradox. Ironically, letting go of what you want is the only way to get it. Here are a few tricks to help you along.

1: To improve your performance, stop thinking about it (unselfconsciousness)

I've never felt comfortable on a dance floor. My movements feel awkward. I feel like people are judging me. I never know what to do with my arms. I want to let go, but I can't, because I know I look ridiculous.

"Loosen up, no one's watching you," people always say. "Everyone's too busy worrying about themselves." So how come they always make fun of my dancing the next day?

The dance world has a term for people like me: "absolute beginner." Which is why my dance teacher, Jessica Hayden, the owner of Shockra Studio in Manhattan, started at the beginning, sitting me down on a bench and having me tap my feet to the beat as Jay-Z thumped away in the background. We spent the rest of the class doing "isolations"—moving just our shoulders, ribs, or hips—to build "body awareness."

But even more important than body awareness, Hayden said, was present-moment awareness. "Be right here right now!" she'd say. "Just let go and let yourself be in the moment."

That's the first paradox of living in the moment: Thinking too hard about what you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a situation that makes you anxious—giving a speech, introducing yourself to a stranger, dancing—focusing on your anxiety tends to heighten it. "When I say, 'be here with me now,' I mean don't zone out or get too in-your-head—instead, follow my energy, my movements," says Hayden. "Focus less on what's going on in your mind and more on what's going on in the room, less on your mental chatter and more on yourself as part of something." To be most myself, I needed to focus on things outside myself, like the music or the people around me.

Indeed, mindfulness blurs the line between self and other, explains Michael Kernis, a psychologist at the University of Georgia. "When people are mindful, they're more likely to experience themselves as part of humanity, as part of a greater universe." That's why highly mindful people such as Buddhist monks talk about being "one with everything."

By reducing self-consciousness, mindfulness allows you to witness the passing drama of feelings, social pressures, even of being esteemed or disparaged by others without taking their evaluations personally, explain Richard Ryan and K. W. Brown of the University of Rochester. When you focus on your immediate experience without attaching it to your self-esteem, unpleasant events like social rejection—or your so-called friends making fun of your dancing—seem less threatening.

Focusing on the present moment also forces you to stop overthinking. "Being present-minded takes away some of that self-evaluation and getting lost in your mind—and in the mind is where we make the evaluations that beat us up," says Stephen Schueller, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. Instead of getting stuck in your head and worrying, you can let yourself go.

2: To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present (savoring)

In her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love (Penguin, 2007), Elizabeth Gilbert writes about a friend who, whenever she sees a beautiful place, exclaims in a near panic, "It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday!" "It takes all my persuasive powers," writes Gilbert, "to try to convince her that she is already here."

Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now. We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week." We eat a cookie and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies."

Instead, relish or luxuriate in whatever you're doing at the present moment—what psychologists call savoring. "This could be while you're eating a pastry, taking a shower, or basking in the sun. You could be savoring a success or savoring music," explains Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside and author of The How of Happiness (Penguin, 2008). "Usually it involves your senses."

When subjects in a study took a few minutes each day to actively savor something they usually hurried through—eating a meal, drinking a cup of tea, walking to the bus—they began experiencing more joy, happiness, and other positive emotions, and fewer depressive symptoms, Schueller found.

Why does living in the moment make people happier—not just at the moment they're tasting molten chocolate pooling on their tongue, but lastingly? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." The hallmark of depression and anxiety is catastrophizing—worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and might not happen at all. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future—and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away.

The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly about events in the past. And again, if you press your focus into the now, rumination ceases. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can't worry about things that aren't there.

3: If you want a future with your significant other, inhabit the present (breathe)

Living consciously with alert interest has a powerful effect on interpersonal life. Mindfulness actually inoculates people against aggressive impulses, say Whitney Heppner and Michael Kernis of the University of Georgia. In a study they conducted, each subject was told that other subjects were forming a group—and taking a vote on whether she could join. Five minutes later, the experimenter announced the results—either the subject had gotten the least number of votes and been rejected or she'd been accepted. Beforehand, half the subjects had undergone a mindfulness exercise in which each slowly ate a raisin, savoring its taste and texture and focusing on each sensation.

Later, in what they thought was a separate experiment, subjects had the opportunity to deliver a painful blast of noise to another person. Among subjects who hadn't eaten the raisin, those who were told they'd been rejected by the group became aggressive, inflicting long and painful sonic blasts without provocation. Stung by social rejection, they took it out on other people.

But among those who'd eaten the raisin first, it didn't matter whether they'd been ostracized or embraced. Either way, they were serene and unwilling to inflict pain on others—exactly like those who were given word of social acceptance.

How does being in the moment make you less aggressive? "Mindfulness decreases ego involvement," explains Kernis. "So people are less likely to link their self-esteem to events and more likely to take things at face value." Mindfulness also makes people feel more connected to other people—that empathic feeling of being "at one with the universe."

Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you interpret and react to what's happening in your mind. It increases the gap between emotional impulse and action, allowing you to do what Buddhists call recognizing the spark before the flame. Focusing on the present reboots your mind so you can respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing down in fear, or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, "This is the emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond?"

Mindfulness increases self-control; since you're not getting thrown by threats to your self-esteem, you're better able to regulate your behavior. That's the other irony: Inhabiting your own mind more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.

Of course, during a flare-up with your significant other it's rarely practical to duck out and savor a raisin. But there's a simple exercise you can do anywhere, anytime to induce mindfulness: Breathe. As it turns out, the advice my friend got in the desert was spot-on. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present moment than to focus on your breathing. Because you're placing your awareness on what's happening right now, you propel yourself powerfully into the present moment. For many, focusing on the breath is the preferred method of orienting themselves to the now—not because the breath has some magical property, but because it's always there with you.

4: To make the most of time, lose track of it (flow)

Perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption psychologists call flow. Flow occurs when you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies an apparent paradox: How can you be living in the moment if you're not even aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate. You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing.

Flow is an elusive state. As with romance or sleep, you can't just will yourself into it—all you can do is set the stage, creating the optimal conditions for it to occur.

The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable—something you have to marshal your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level—not so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored. In flow, you're firing on all cylinders to rise to a challenge.

To set the stage for flow, goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. "It could be playing the next bar in a scroll of music, or finding the next foothold if you're a rock climber, or turning the page if you're reading a good novel," says Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who first defined the concept of flow. "At the same time, you're kind of anticipating."

You also need to set up the task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback; with your successes and failures apparent, you can seamlessly adjust your behavior. A climber on the mountain knows immediately if his foothold is secure; a pianist knows instantly when she's played the wrong note.

As your attentional focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates. You feel as if your awareness merges with the action you're performing. You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that although the task is difficult, action feels effortless.

5: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away from it (acceptance)

We all have pain in our lives, whether it's the ex we still long for, the jackhammer snarling across the street, or the sudden wave of anxiety when we get up to give a speech. If we let them, such irritants can distract us from the enjoyment of life. Paradoxically, the obvious response—focusing on the problem in order to combat and overcome it—often makes it worse, argues Stephen Hayes, a psychologist at the University of Nevada.

The mind's natural tendency when faced with pain is to attempt to avoid it—by trying to resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we lose a love, for instance, we fight our feelings of heartbreak. As we get older, we work feverishly to recapture our youth. When we're sitting in the dentist's chair waiting for a painful root canal, we wish we were anywhere but there. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies the pain.

The problem is we have not just primary emotions but also secondary ones—emotions about other emotions. We get stressed out and then think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out." The primary emotion is stress over your workload. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being stressed."

It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present moment can only be as it is. Trying to change it only frustrates and exhausts you. Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering.

Suppose you've just broken up with your girlfriend or boyfriend; you're heartbroken, overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and longing. You could try to fight these feelings, essentially saying, "I hate feeling this way; I need to make this feeling go away." But by focusing on the pain—being sad about being sad—you only prolong the sadness. You do yourself a favor by accepting your feelings, saying instead, "I've just had a breakup. Feelings of loss are normal and natural. It's OK for me to feel this way."

Acceptance of an unpleasant state doesn't mean you don't have goals for the future. It just means you accept that certain things are beyond your control. The sadness, stress, pain, or anger is there whether you like it or not. Better to embrace the feeling as it is.

Nor does acceptance mean you have to like what's happening. "Acceptance of the present moment has nothing to do with resignation," writes Kabat-Zinn. "Acceptance doesn't tell you what to do. What happens next, what you choose to do; that has to come out of your understanding of this moment."

If you feel anxiety, for instance, you can accept the feeling, label it as anxiety—then direct your attention to something else instead. You watch your thoughts, perceptions, and emotions flit through your mind without getting involved. Thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to believe them and you don't have to do what they say.

6: Know that you don't know (engagement)

You've probably had the experience of driving along a highway only to suddenly realize you have no memory or awareness of the previous 15 minutes. Maybe you even missed your exit. You just zoned out; you were somewhere else, and it's as if you've suddenly woken up at the wheel. Or maybe it happens when you're reading a book: "I know I just read that page, but I have no idea what it said."

These autopilot moments are what Harvard's Ellen Langer calls mindlessness—times when you're so lost in your thoughts that you aren't aware of your present experience. As a result, life passes you by without registering on you. The best way to avoid such blackouts, Langer says, is to develop the habit of always noticing new things in whatever situation you're in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases a cascade of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you emphatically in the here and now.

We become mindless, Langer explains, because once we think we know something, we stop paying attention to it. We go about our morning commute in a haze because we've trod the same route a hundred times before. But if we see the world with fresh eyes, we realize almost everything is different each time—the pattern of light on the buildings, the faces of the people, even the sensations and feelings we experience along the way. Noticing imbues each moment with a new, fresh quality. Some people have termed this "beginner's mind."

By acquiring the habit of noticing new things, says Langer, we recognize that the world is actually changing constantly. We really don't know how the espresso is going to taste or how the commute will be—or at least, we're not sure.

Orchestra musicians who are instructed to make their performance new in subtle ways not only enjoy themselves more but audiences actually prefer those performances. "When we're there at the moment, making it new, it leaves an imprint in the music we play, the things we write, the art we create, in everything we do," says Langer. "Once you recognize that you don't know the things you've always taken for granted, you set out of the house quite differently. It becomes an adventure in noticing—and the more you notice, the more you see." And the more excitement you feel.

Don't just do something, sit there

Living a consistently mindful life takes effort. But mindfulness itself is easy. "People set the goal of being mindful for the next 20 minutes or the next two weeks, then they think mindfulness is difficult because they have the wrong yardstick," says Jay Winner, a California-based family physician and author of Take the Stress out of Your Life (Da Capo Press, 2008). "The correct yardstick is just for this moment."

Mindfulness is the only intentional, systematic activity that is not about trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, explains Kabat-Zinn. It is simply a matter of realizing where you already are. A cartoon from The New Yorker sums it up: Two monks are sitting side by side, meditating. The younger one is giving the older one a quizzical look, to which the older one responds, "Nothing happens next. This is it."

You can become mindful at any moment just by paying attention to your immediate experience. You can do it right now. What's happening this instant? Think of yourself as an eternal witness, and just observe the moment. What do you see, hear, smell? It doesn't matter how it feels—pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad—you roll with it because it's what's present; you're not judging it. And if you notice your mind wandering, bring yourself back. Just say to yourself, "Now. Now. Now."

Here's the most fundamental paradox of all: Mindfulness isn't a goal, because goals are about the future, but you do have to set the intention of paying attention to what's happening at the present moment. As you read the words printed on this page, as your eyes distinguish the black squiggles on white paper, as you feel gravity anchoring you to the planet, wake up. Become aware of being alive. And breathe. As you draw your next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the out-breath. If you're aware of that feeling right now, as you're reading this, you're living in the moment. Nothing happens next. It's not a destination. This is it. You're already there.

Best Ways to Beat Holiday Stress

By Rebecca Ruiz for Forbes.com

Forbes

Later this month, many will begin preparing holiday feasts, attending parties and shopping obsessively for the perfect presents, all while counting blessings and enjoying the company of family and friends.

Millions will also spend it focused on reducing stress instead of spreading cheer.

From long lines to even longer lists, there are numerous opportunities to become mired in holiday strain, but experts say it can be overcome by tailoring festivities to your liking, as opposed to mimicking the grandiose displays reflected in commercials or movies.

"I encourage people to not just jump on the bandwagon," says Dr. Beverly Thorn, professor of psychology at the University of Alabama. "We need small doses of expectations or else we're setting ourselves up for failure."

Adopting this philosophy is an empowering start, but to be fully prepared for the holiday season you should be aware of the warning signs of stress, common triggers and effective coping strategies.

Warning signs

Though many struggle to manage stress throughout the year, the holidays can magnify underlying issues and emotions. An American Psychological Association study conducted in 2006 found that while 78 percent of respondents reported feeling often happy around the holidays, about two-thirds sometimes or often felt stressed and fatigued.

Dr. Edward Creagan, a professor of medical oncology at the Mayo Clinic College of Medicine who has studied the effect of stress on the body, says the warning signs of stress can include irritability, fatigue, sleep disorders, indulgent eating, loss of enthusiasm and feelings of detachment and angst. People who feel high levels of stress during the holiday season, he says, often function as if they're "in a robotic fog, thinking, 'I don't want to do this. but there are familial pressures and cultural expectations.'"

Drinking and eating excessively, smoking and being overly critical of family members are common negative-coping strategies that signal difficulty in managing holiday anxiety. Aggie Casey, director of the Cardiac Wellness Program at the Benson-Henry Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital, cites these bad habits as well as physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension and an accelerated heart rate as evidence of heightened stress levels.

While it may be easy to identify the warning signs, isolating the source of stress can be trickier.

That's because "stress often doesn't have to do with the event," says Casey, "but with how [people] interpret that situation."

The triggers

Stressful situations might include a combination of family obligations, work commitments, gift-giving expectations, traveling, shopping and cooking within a six-week window—all which add to a perfect storm of stress and conflict.

While spending often ranks high as a cause of anxiety during the holidays, this season may be particularly difficult for families dealing with the credit crisis and layoffs. Americans have already cut back on spending, but one trap to avoid is accumulating debt as the holiday season approaches. That stresses not only budgets, but also parents who have to deal with the debt in January.

Other triggers of holiday-related stress are relationship dynamics and the emotional and physical demands of balancing work and family. Casey says that regardless of the source of stress, one theme is common to most complaints: a sense of powerlessness. This happens frequently when people sense an obligation to attend a family function or work party and feel as if they have no decision-making power. Women often turn to comfort eating during the holidays as a coping strategy, but overeating actually leads to increased feelings of guilt about weight gain and breaking one's diet.

Instead of falling back on counterproductive habits, Casey suggests adopting a new, more positive perspective.

Resolving the stress

For example, when stuck in holiday traffic with a list of groceries and gifts to buy while worried about a visit from the in-laws, try Casey's de-stressing technique of pulling over, breathing deeply, reflecting on the source of anxiety and choosing a response instead of reacting to the situation. This strategy can be applied in most situations with the following directives: stop, breathe, reflect and choose. According to Casey, it's crucial to rethink or re-frame the problem in order to effectively manage any negative feelings.

This coping mechanism is effective when addressing immediate stress, but experts also recommend advance planning and delegating as ways to prevent stressful situations from ever occurring.

Kate Kelly, co-author of Organize Your Life, Free Yourself From Clutter and Find More Personal Time (Wiley, 2007), suggests that families sit down weeks in advance of a major holiday or celebration and discuss what's most important to each individual and what responsibilities that person is willing to assume. For harried and overworked parents, this can mean delegating cooking or shopping to teenagers or adult children. Another essential task to be done beforehand is creating a realistic budget that won't generate additional stress in the months following December.

"Simplification is vital," says Kelly, who encourages families to host potlucks instead of cooking an entire meal. Or invest in one item for the family instead of buying high-priced items for each person.

"You've got to establish something that's workable," she says. "There's nothing worse than a stressed-out person—that's no gift to anybody."