Beauty Tips From The Late Audrey Hepburn

Recently while cleaning out my desk I came across an article with Audrey Hepburn’s list of beauty tips. Ms. Hepburn, an internationally acclaimed beauty, was allegedly a carrier for the Belgian Underground Anti-Nazi Movement in WW II as a teen. She learned the importance of a good heart as well as good character early.

Here is her list:

1. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

2 For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

3. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

4. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

5. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

6. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands–one for helping yourself, the other for helping others (by the way, Kirk Douglas in a recent article said that helping others keeps the elderly from becoming depressed).

7. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. And the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.

Thank you for your wisdom Audrey, you were physically beautiful, but your soul will remain eternally beautiful.

source: www.drpersky.com

How to Lose Weight as a Couple

Double Trouble

You put on that marital-bliss belly together, and now it’s time to take it off as a team. Though the science seems stacked against you—a 2009 study published in the journal Obesity found that just living with a romantic partner for more than 2 years correlated with obesity, inactivity, and sedentary behavior—you can still lose weight with your better half if you take the right steps.

“Couples have so many opportunities to help each other—more than they would have if they were trying to lose weight alone,” says Jason Bazilian, a doctor of acupuncture and oriental medicine, who shares a practice that focuses on nutrition, exercise, and healthy living with his wife Wendy Bazilian, DrPH, RD in San Diego, California. In fact, a 2008 study found that when one partner enrolled in a weight loss program, the non-participating partner ended up copying their spouse’s healthier behavior: They counted calories, weighed themselves more often, and lost an average of 5 pounds. Here are eight strategies to ensure that getting hitched isn’t the end of healthy living—together, you can eat better, exercise more, and fight fat.

Make Time for Sleep

Getting adequate sleep is super important to achieving—and maintaining—weight loss, says Wendy. “Jason and I really try to watch out for each other when it comes to getting enough rest. If we’re just sitting and lingering some evenings, we nudge each other to call it a night.” Missing out on shut-eye can impair your metabolism and upset the body’s natural appetite signals. It increases ghrelin, a hormone that increases appetite and decreases leptin, a hormone that tells us when we’ve had enough to eat. Messing with this killer combo is a surefire way to overeat.

To help each other hit the hay, Wendy suggests creating a wind-down routine. This can include anything from setting out your clothes for the next day to doing a few relaxing stretches before slipping between the sheets. Try to stay away from talking about your to-do list or other stressful conversation topics right before bed. And while it’s great to hit the hay together, encourage your partner to turn in earlier if you have to stay up to finish a project.

Display Your Fittest Pics

Which activity would you rather remember: the time you bicycled across the Brooklyn Bridge, or the time you stuffed yourself on Thanksgiving? “A majority of our framed photos are of us actually doing things,” says Wendy. “When you see yourself being active, you’ll be inspired to plan your next trip or weekend adventure. Sometimes all it takes to motivate you is seeing how fit you were or remembering how invigorated you felt at a certain time.” Displaying photos of you being active as a couple acts as a constant reminder of how you plan to live your life together.

Keep a Couple’s Calendar

A calendar offers more than just inspiration to plan ahead–a crucial habit for healthy eating and making time for fitness (and each other). It’s also a great place to keep track of daily and weekly goals. Having your milestones out in the open keeps you honest and gives partners an opportunity to track progress and celebrate success.

The Bazilians share a week-at-a-glance planner that has a “his” and “hers” column for each day. “This way we can see when our schedules intersect and when each of us has obligations,” says Jason. “We use the planner to strategize around who’s picking up groceries, who’s cooking that night, and so on. It’s great for communication.”

Turn your calendar into a weight loss tool by color-coding different types of activities. Keep track of mealtimes using a green marker, exercise and opportunities to be active with a red marker, work and other obligations in blue marker. This is a visual reminder to make sure you have a balanced week that incorporates both work and play.

Accept Your Dietary Differences

Sharing is caring, but it’s unlikely the two of you need the same calorie counts to lose or maintain your weight. “As a couple the tendency is to want to split everything even-stephen,” says Jason. “But if you just nudge the knife over a tiny bit to make more appropriate portion sizes, you’ll be closer to achieving your goals.”

You should have an equal partnership, but your portions likely won't match. “I shouldn't eat as much as Jason,” says Wendy. “I’m 7 inches shorter and I’m a woman—I’m at a metabolic disadvantage. There’s nothing more wonderful than sitting down to eat together, but that’s challenging when he has more on his plate than I do.” If you’re the one stuck with a smaller portion size, or the speed-eater who inhales a meal, try using chopsticks to pace yourself. Polishing off your plate at the same time helps the partner who'd finish first avoid going back for seconds.

Take a Walk-and-Talk

Instead of plopping down on the couch to hash over your day, take the talk outdoors. “It’s almost like our couples therapy,” says Jason. “We fill up two bottles of water, put on our sneakers, and go outside to talk while walking around the neighborhood.”

But don’t worry about changing into gym duds or grabbing your pedometer. “It’s just extra movement to build into your day,” says Wendy. “The intent is not to go out and exercise—it’s to add activity to an everyday thing like talking about the day's events.”

Discover a Different Type of Date Night

Planning an evening that revolves around eating won’t bode well for your waistlines. Instead, make sitting down to dinner the date’s final destination, and spend the first half of your night exploring the neighborhood surrounding the restaurant. For an even healthier time on the town, try a dance lesson or get a group together to go bowling or play pool, says Wendy.

Or, ditch date night for date day. An evening setting naturally pushes you toward a more sedentary choice. But there isn’t a rule that says you can’t schedule special time when the sun is shining. A daytime date busts you out of the dinner-and-a-movie rut, and opens the door to activities like hiking, kayaking, and bicycling (weather permitting). And eating isn’t out of the question—lunch menus usually offer lighter fare in smaller portions so you can dine without derailing your diet.

Get Fit Together

These exercises, from Chris Mohr, PhD, RD, CSSD, and Kara Mohr, PhD, FACSM, owners of Mohr Results in Louisville, Kentucky, are perfect for couples. Try for 8-12 reps of each.

Pushup Hand-Slaps

Facing one another, get into pushup position. Leave enough room between you to be able to reach out and slap hands. (The farther apart you are, the more difficult the exercise.) Lower your chests to the floor and complete a pushup together. When you are at the top of the pushup, extend an arm in front of you and slap opposite hands. Because you’re facing each other you’ll be reaching across to slap right hands together then left. Repeat and continue switching hands for 8 to 12 reps.

Medicine Ball Toss Crunch

One partner lies on the floor with knees bent, feet flat, holding a medicine ball. The other partner stands facing the first person, about a foot away. As the partner on the floor crunches upward, the medicine ball is thrown to the standing partner. The standing partner tosses the medicine ball back and it is caught just as the seated partner lowers back to the floor.

source: By Alyssa Wells, fitbie

Why Cardio Alone Doesn’t Cut Fat

I wrote this article in order to educate women and some men who believe that doing cardio and abs will help them shed pounds on their midsection. I also think it will help out trainers who have a hard time getting clients to understand the benefits of lifting moderately heavy weights, which is the best thing for them to do to lose weight.

Everyone knows that cardio is the best thing for you when looking to burn extra calories. Or is it? What most people don’t know is cardio can be the worst thing for cutting fat when it isn’t paired with weight training. If you ask the girl (or even the guy) on the ab machine what she’s trying to do, nine times out of ten she will reply with “lose my stomach fat.” Ten times out of ten, she won’t loss stomach fat. The number one reason for this is that you can’t spot reduce an area. When you lose body fat, the fat will be reduced throughout the body, not just from the area you’re working. If we could lose weight in just one area, don’t you think we’d look a little funny? People would walk around with rock hard abs, saggy glutes, and flabby arms. All beach guys would have fat legs because they only do chest, arms, and abs.

The following is a short story between the girl on the ab machine and me. We will call her Jenny Abs. If you dig deeper, you’ll find out that her full name is Jenny Cardio and Abs. I asked Jenny what she did before the ab machine, and she said, “I normally do an hour of cardio on the treadmill or a cardio class.”

My reply was, “Awesome, you must have burned a lot of calories. How is your eating?”

She said, “Oh, I ate really good—egg whites in the morning, chicken and a salad for lunch, and dinner was something light. And no carbs after 6:00 pm.” Jenny said that as if she had taught me a lesson.

Seems Jenny has listened to all her uneducated group fitness class groupies. In case you haven’t guessed by now, I had my work cut out for me. I wanted to touch on three main things here, and I wanted to do it delicately without hurting Jenny Cardio and Abs, who is now unable to function because she is carb depleted from over an hour of high intensity cardio.

So I said, “That is stupid and you must be too if you believe that.” Kidding of course. It isn’t her fault that everyone who reads a fitness magazine is a professional now. I asked Jenny if she had a minute because I wanted to help her maximize her gym time and of course her goal of weight loss. Jenny didn’t really want my help because she thought that most trainers were either hitting on her or trying to sell her something. However, she agreed to sit down and have a chat with me.

We sat down and I opened with a bunch of nice complements on her workout routine. I then asked her how long she had been working out for and of she had been making much progress.

She was all smiles and said, “Yeah, I have lost eight pounds so far, and I want to lose another ten, but it’s getting tough to drop. I don’t really know why. I’ve been eating even less and upping my time on the cardio. See, I lost five pounds the first week and three pounds the second week. Now, it’s week seven, and I actually gained a pound. It’s pretty frustrating.”

I cut right to the chase. I’m not one to waste time or sugar coat anything.

“You’re working too hard and burning too many calories. Your body is eating your muscle, which is slowing your metabolism down, and you aren’t strength training.”

Jenny’s mouth opened wide and said “Oh, yes I do strength train. I took that extreme weight training class with Krissy with the amazing body.”

“Ok, cool. That isn’t strength training. That’s basically cardio with weights, and it only adds to your overtraining. Let me explain how the body works. Let’s start with this—your body needs a certain amount of calories throughout the day in order to function, and more importantly for you, to maintain muscle.”

Jenny cut in with, “I don’t care about my muscle. What does that have to do with me losing weight.”

“Jenny, it has everything to do with you losing weight. Your muscle is going to be what regulates your metabolism. Your metabolism is going to be the amount of calories you burn at rest throughout the day. Now this is where muscle comes in. Your muscle determines your metabolism. A pound of muscle can burn anywhere up to 50 calories a day depending on its health. The more muscle you have, the more calories you will burn throughout the day. This is known as your basal metabolic rate, an estimated amount of calories you burn throughout the day. If you don’t take in enough calories throughout the day, your body will have to get the nutrients it needs from somewhere. If you had to choose between eating fat or meat, what would you eat?”

“Umm…meat. Duh!” Jenny replied.

I smiled and said, “That is exactly what your body would do. It would get the nutrients from your muscle, which makes your muscle lose its density and size. Over time, it will disappear and make the scale go down, although that isn’t a good thing. Your metabolism can drop as much as 50 calories for every pound of muscle you lose.”

“Wow, that isn’t good! So what I’ve been doing is wrong?” Jenny asked.

“No, it isn’t wrong. It just isn’t the right way to do it,” I said with a smirk.

Jenny laughed and said, “So what else can I do the right way?”

“How about we talk about meal frequency? You said you eat three meals a day, correct? That is ok if you’re eating the right amount of calories and your metabolism hasn’t been damaged like yours has. The trick to keeping your body burning calories or keeping your metabolism moving is to constantly put food in to be used for fuel for the body. An easy way to understand this is to think of your body as an old furnace that needs wood for fuel. The wood represents the food. To turn on the furnace, you must put wood in it. The wood will burn for a few hours, but in order to keep the furnace on, you must add more wood. The same thing goes for the body. If there isn’t any food to fuel the body, the metabolism slows down. If you are to eat every two and a half to three hours—four being the most—you will keep your metabolism constantly working. Five to six small meals should do the trick.”

Jenny nodded and said, “Ok, do you mind if we go get a shake at the juice bar. It has been six hours since I last ate.”

At that point, I knew I had Jenny’s complete attention. We decided to get a shake. I got mine with a banana in it. She stopped me and yelled, “Are you crazy? It’s after 6:00 pm.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t turn into a pumpkin, and the carbs won’t turn into fat” I responded. “Carbs are good for you, especially after a workout such as yours. You have been in here for over an hour. Any exercise over about 45 minutes can be long enough to completely destroy your carb or glycogen storage. Glycogen is what carbs are stored as in the body. It is stored in muscles and organs. After an intense cardio session, Have you ever noticed that your muscle are flat or you feel thinner? That isn’t just from sweating out fluids. It is also from using your energy storage. This is where the whole low carb diet thing came about.

After one day of cutting out carbs, most people will lose one to two pounds, mostly from water. Not only do you lose weight, but you also feel thinner. That’s because you’re depleting your muscles of glycogen. Carbs will keep your muscles hydrated, making you feel like your muscles are bloated, hence the name carbohydrate. Cutting carbs will decrease your performance physically and mentally. About two-thirds of your carb intake is used for the brain. That is why most people get light-headed until of course they get used to operating on less carbs. You will be able to function but not at your max.

People will tell you that they are carb sensitive, which is bull. They just eat too many carbs and move too little. I say eat carbs and keep your muscles full. It’s what is on top of the muscle that is the problem—fat! The fat stays, and your muscles will constantly inflate and deflate. Most bodybuilders will carb load and deplete all through their training. The reason this works is because normally on low carb days, they take in less calories than they do on high days, which brings us to weight loss 101. If you burn off more calories than you take in, you will lose weight.

Don’t get me wrong—too many carbs are bad, but so is too much of anything. If you were able to have 2000 calories and ate 2500 calories of all protein, you wouldn’t lose weight. The same thing goes if you ate 1800 calories just from cake. You wouldn’t lose weight. Each macronutrient, protein, carb, or fat has its own job. Protein is great because it is the most versatile one. But don’t send a hairstylist to do a make-up artist’s job if you want it done right.”

“This is a lot to take in. How am I supposed to know what to do?” Jenny said.

“That is the tricky part” I said with a sigh. “It is all trial and error. There are many different ways to go about it. For you in particular, I would start by adding a carb in at breakfast and lunch and then two small, healthy snacks in between lunch and dinner.”

“What kind of snacks?”

“ Well, you just had a shake. Those work great. You can do fruit and maybe some almonds.”

“Almonds?? Those are all fat!”

“Some fats are good for you. The body needs fat for certain things, and you shouldn’t deprive your body of it. It is the secondary source of energy and also helps with joint health. There are other things your body uses fat for. But no matter how good it is for you, fat is fat in the end. Too much of any one thing isn’t any good, especially fat. It contains nine calories per gram as opposed to protein and carbs, which both have four calories per gram. That’s why fat should be kept to two servings per day in my opinion. So, yes, almonds. I would have about ten to fifteen as a snack.”

“Ok, got it—some fruit and almonds for a snack” Jenny said firmly.

“No, not together. Separately” I jumped in. “As a general rule of thumb, to help portion meals, I recommend having a small amount of protein with each meal with a serving of carbs or a protein and a serving of fat. It will balance out to about the same amount of calories. If you do a fruit or almonds by itself, that is ok to start. It is a step in the right direction.

Now that you have somewhat of an idea of how to keep your muscle from being used as food for your body, let’s talk about how to increase that muscle mass to make you a calorie burning machine. Follow me to where the little boys curl and the real men move mountains—the squat rack!”

source:elitefts.com

10 Biggest Depression Triggers -- and How to Turn Them Off

It's downright scary: More than 20 million Americans can expect to suffer from depression in the coming year. But you don't have to be one of them if you're alert to the events and situations that can turn the blues into something more serious.

By Melanie Haiken, Caring.com

Here, the 10 most common depression triggers -- and what to do to prevent them from dragging you down.

#1: Losing a job

Why: In addition to causing financial stress, losing a job can jeopardize your sense of identity and feelings of self-worth. Unemployment and financial stress also strain marriages and relationships, bringing conflict that compounds stress and unhappiness.

Who's most vulnerable: Statistics show that the older you are or the higher you were paid, the longer it's likely to take to find work again. Also, those employed in downsized industries and fields, such as the auto industry, may have to retrain or start over in a new field, which can be frightening and can undermine self-confidence.

What helps: Connect with others in the same situation, whether it's through a job skills class, training program, or job-search support group. Also, if you can afford it, use a career counselor or coach to help you create a plan, stay accountable, and feel supported. Experts also recommend building a support network by reaching out to friends and colleagues and setting up regular events throughout the week. The more you can structure your time with lunches, walks, and other get-togethers, the better. Try signing up for a morning exercise class or schedule regular morning walks to get you going each day.

If time goes by and it doesn't look like you're going to find a replacement job quickly, consider volunteering. It's not only a way to boost your self-esteem and get out of the house but it's also great for learning new skills and making new connections.

#2: Sexual issues

Why: According to sexual health expert Beverly Whipple, professor at Rutgers University and author of The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006), depression and sexual problems are interrelated in a vicious cycle. Sexual problems and sexual health issues can trigger depression by removing one of the most effective outlets we use to feel good. But many of the most common antidepressant medications, particularly the group of drugs known as SSRIs (brand names Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa) can sabotage your sex drive and make it harder to achieve orgasm.

Who's most affected: Loss of an active sex life due to age- or health-related issues can trigger depression in both men and women, but men may feel the loss more acutely. That's because sexuality is more central to a man's sense of identity, says Whipple: "When a man experiences a loss of libido or sexual dysfunction, his entire sense of self may be affected."

What helps: In a nutshell, get medical or professional help. While talking about sex and the health of our "equipment" isn't easy for any of us, it's essential to breaking the cycle before it leads to depression. If you're experiencing physical changes that are contributing to a loss of interest in sex or to performance issues, it's essential to bring them up with your doctor. And if the problem stems from relationship or other emotional issues, make use of a couples counselor or sex therapist.

If you let embarrassment or shame prevent you from speaking up, you're denying yourself one of the most effective weapons against depression. Recent studies show that having regular orgasms relieves stress, prevents prostate cancer, and releases feel-good brain chemicals that protect against depression. One of Whipple's many studies even shows that regular sex increases your pain-tolerance threshold, reducing chronic pain.

#3: "Empty nest" syndrome

Why: Two of the hardest things to deal with are loss and change, and when a child leaves home you're suddenly hit with both, all at once. "Your entire routine changes, from the minute you wake up in the morning to the moment you go to bed at night," says Celestino Limos, dean of students at Lewis & Clark College in Portland, Oregon. "Parents tend to focus on all the practical details of getting a child ready for college, but they're unprepared for how much the rhythm of their own lives changes from day to day."

Who's most vulnerable: Women seem to suffer more acutely than men, perhaps because their self-identity is more closely associated with being parents, experts say. But men can suffer an acute sense of loss as well, and they may be less prepared for the onslaught of emotions. Those who are divorced or otherwise single are much more likely to be lonely once the kids are gone, but married couples may also find themselves struggling, particularly if the marriage is rocky or they've developed a tag-team approach to family life and don't share many activities and interests. Parents of only children are also more vulnerable.

What helps: Plan in advance. Parenting experts suggest that parents begin exploring independent interests during their child's last year of high school. Sign up for a class one night a week, or subscribe to a travel magazine and think about trips you might want to take.

When your child leaves home, give yourself a few weeks of quiet time to grieve, but don't spend too much time alone. Set up regular events you can look forward to. Organize weekly walks with friends, join a book group, or sign up for a yoga, pilates, or dance class. Plan your weekends ahead of time, so you're not caught off guard with time heavy on your hands. Try something completely new, such as a cooking or language class. When you discover a new interest or passion, having more time available becomes a good thing rather than a liability.

#4: Alcohol abuse

Why: Recent research backs up what addiction and depression experts have long argued: Alcohol abuse and depression are often linked in what's called a "dual diagnosis" or, colloquially, "double trouble." The reason for this complicated interaction is the effect alcohol has on mood. When you stop into your local tavern for a cold one, you might think you're staving off the blues with some camaraderie and relaxation. But alcohol acts as a depressant in the central nervous system, triggering depression in those who are susceptible.

Who's most vulnerable: Those already prone to depression or those prone to overusing alcohol are at greatest risk. In either group, the combination of alcohol abuse and depression is dangerous. According to studies, between 30 and 50 percent of alcoholics suffer from major depression. And the relationship works the other way too: Studies have found that alcohol use causes relapse in people with depression, and that when people with depression drink they're more prone to suicide.

What helps: Cut back on drinking and seek help for alcohol abuse or addiction. "There's a reason we've got the stereotype of the weepy drunk," says Liliane Desjardins of Pavillion International, a treatment center in Texas. "Alcohol triggers a mood crash." But people who drink too much rarely attribute their misery to drinking, she adds. Instead they blame it on other people and factors.

There's only one solution: Cut back and see if, over time, you feel better. If you repeatedly promise yourself or others not to drink and your efforts fail or your drinking brings other negative consequences into your life, you may need help to stop. Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs are effective for some people. Others need the physical restriction and concentrated services of a residential alcohol rehabilitation facility or the supervised medical detox of an inpatient program. No matter what type of alcohol treatment program works for you, you'll find it has the additional benefit of preventing depression.

#5: Illness

Why: When you're diagnosed with a serious illness, it changes your sense of what's possible in the present and affects your outlook for the future. Finding out you have diabetes, cancer, or another condition can set in motion a chain of events that profoundly alters your sense of yourself, your relationships, and your expectations for what life may hold in store.

"People call diagnosis of a serious illness a 'wake-up call,' but often it's more like a slap in the face," says Gloria Nelson, a senior oncology social worker at Montefiore-Einstein Medical Center in New York. "Nothing is as it seemed even a few days ago, which can be disorienting and terrifying." Pain and fatigue are physical symptoms, but they take an enormous emotional toll as well.

Who's most vulnerable: At highest risk are those diagnosed with cancer, Alzheimer's, COPD, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's, chronic pain, or any other debilitating condition.

What helps: A support group. "I can't say it strongly enough -- no one is going to understand what you're going through like your fellow patients," says Nelson. "Your spouse, your friends, your family -- they all love you and support you, but they can't really 'get it' like others going through the same thing."

Advocating for yourself to obtain effective treatment is important, too. If you aren't getting the answers or help you need from your doctor, ask for a second opinion or referral to a specialist. For many conditions, such as cancer, a social worker can be a valuable addition to your team, offering access to additional resources the doctor may not tell you about. In some circumstances, a patient advocate can be valuable in helping you pursue aggressive or experimental treatment.

#6: Divorce

Why: Although every divorce is different, they all have in common one thing: a huge, sudden change in social status. You were part of a social unit, and now you're not. Loneliness and fear -- how can I make it on my own? -- are common reactions after divorce or separation. Divorce can also bring with it added financial strain. And if there are children involved, custody arrangements and coparenting decisions can cause ongoing conflict and stress.

Who's most vulnerable: Everyone involved in the divorce is vulnerable. A common myth is that the person who initiates a divorce or separation is better off than the person who gets left, but this isn't true, at least not over time, experts say. Even if you were the one who initially asked for the divorce or separation, it's likely the decision came after a long period of pain and unhappiness. And both parties are likely to feel a complicated mix of anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, and a pervasive sense of failure.

What helps: Therapy can be extremely beneficial while going through a divorce or separation. Individual therapy can help you work through the complicated emotions you're feeling and take concrete steps to move forward. Couples therapy, sometimes known as divorce therapy, can help you and your ex resolve your issues with a minimum of anger, bitterness, and recrimination. And family therapy is invaluable in helping kids express their emotions; studies show that kids tend to blame themselves for divorce, which can result in depression for them as well. Family therapy has also been shown to more quickly and successfully resolve custody issues and help divorced parents coparent effectively. Divorced-parent or single-parent support groups are also a great place to find support.

#7: Debt and financial stress

Why: Worrying about how to pay the bills causes an ongoing "buzz" of stress that, over time, sabotages your mood and self-esteem and can lead to depression.

Who's most vulnerable: Those who feel alone dealing with their financial problems are at most risk. Not knowing where to turn is scary, and feelings of shame and secrecy can compound the fear and anxiety.

What helps: Sit down with your bills and a calculator and take stock. Look at what's coming and what's going out. Buy a book or two on financial management and set up a step-by-step plan for yourself. If you're not good with money or feel unable to come up with a plan of action on your own, look for a reputable financial counselor or debt advisor. Many communities offer free financial services, particularly around tax preparation time, and your bank or financial services provider may also have free services you can take advantage of.

Just don't let yourself stay "stuck" in denial while panic builds under the surface. Taking any action, even just talking to a friend or family member about your situation, will help you move forward and formulate a plan.

#8: Infertility

Why: Wanting to have a baby and not being able to can be a powerful depression trigger, particularly in women. Having a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages often sends a women spiraling into depression. Going into early menopause as a result of surgery, chemotherapy for cancer treatment, or illness can also lead to depression when a woman realizes her window of fertility has closed.

Who's most vulnerable: Women with age- or health-related fertility issues, women who've suffered multiple miscarriages, and women who've had a surgically induced menopause are most prone to distress over infertility issues.

What helps: Advance planning and exploring all options for parenthood can help you if you're nearing the end of your fertile years. Look into the services available for preserving your eggs; whether or not you choose to do so, simply researching the option makes some women feel less vulnerable and powerless, one study has shown. If you're a single woman and lack of a partner is leading you to despair, look into the option of single parenthood by choice via a sperm donor. Whether or not you choose to take this route, investigating what's involved can make you feel more in charge of your choices, experts say. Exploring adoption and familiarizing yourself with the options available there can also be empowering.

#9: Being a hands-on caregiver to someone with a debilitating disease, such as Alzheimer's or cancer

Why: Taking on a caregiver role places enormous demands on your time and energy, adds the stress of constant decision making, and often forces you to choose between conflicting obligations, which can result in resentment, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy.

Who's most vulnerable: At greatest risk are women in their 30s and older who are juggling multiple pressures, such as being a caregiver along with working or raising children. Men assume the role of caregiver less commonly, but when they do they may be particularly prone to depression because they're less likely to have strong social bonds and to seek support from their family and community.

What helps: For starters, set boundaries around your caregiving responsibilities. Do what you can, and be clear with the person you're caring for and with other family members about what you can't do and need others to do. This is key to preventing guilt and feeling overwhelmed, both of which are major setups for depression.

Set up a support system for yourself: Schedule respite care, so you get occasional breaks; delegate tasks to others or outsource tasks in your own home. If you're spending many hours on the upkeep of your parent's home, for example, consider paying someone to clean yours, so you don't walk in the door to face more cleaning tasks. If you have siblings in a less active caregiving role, tell them the thank-you gift you'd most appreciate is a cleaning service for your home or gift certificates to restaurants, so you don't have to cook.

And don't neglect your own health and well-being. No matter how tough and strong you are, you won't be able to be an effective caregiver if you don't care for yourself first. Clear time each day to do something for yourself, whether it's to take a walk, cut a few flowers in the garden, meditate, or have a cup of tea with a friend. You need to replenish your inner resources or you won't have anything left for the others who need you.

#10: Menopause and "male menopause"

Why: The hormonal fluctuations that accompany aging can cause levels of key hormones to drop, setting off a cluster of symptoms that can include depression and other problems, such as fatigue, low libido, and anxiety that in turn contribute to depression.

Who's most vulnerable: Women ages 40 to 55 are the most likely to suffer the wide-ranging symptoms of perimenopause -- the period leading up to menopause -- and menopause itself. Less well known, though, is that men go through their own midlife decline in energy and mood, a phase popularly known as "male menopause." In some men, this is caused by a drop in testosterone levels, but other men experience symptoms even when their testosterone levels remain within the normal range. Experts believe other age-related symptoms such as prostate problems, weight gain, and decline in muscle mass and fitness may be at fault when this happens.

In younger women, early-onset menopause caused by surgery or cancer treatment can trigger extreme hormonal symptoms.

What helps: Talk to your doctor, and be prepared to be extremely specific about the symptoms you're experiencing. Keep an ongoing written record of your moods and physical symptoms so you can document what's happening when, and how frequently.

If a hormonal imbalance is the problem, treating the imbalance is key to an overall solution. This doesn't necessarily mean taking hormone replacement therapy, although -- despite negative publicity -- that's one option that's effective for many women and that appears to pose little risk to most. For men, testosterone supplementation has been shown to treat sexual dysfunction and other symptoms of male menopause if done carefully and correctly.

Many men and women can also stabilize hormones and combat midlife depression by using vitamins, herbs, and other supplements, or by using stress-management techniques such as meditation and yoga. Interestingly, studies show that stress itself inhibits testosterone release, says sexual health expert Beverly Whipple. In men, stress can be a direct cause of sexual issues and depression. Treating underlying conditions such as thyroid disorders can also get hormone levels back on track.

10 Ways to Wake Up Beautiful

1. Get an Early Start

Make a habit of washing your face a few hours before bed. If you wait until you're tired, you're more likely to blow it off -- allowing "toxins and dirt to stay on there all night," says dermatologist Laurie Polis of N.Y.C. Another consequence? You miss the best time to treat your skin. "At night there's more blood flow to the skin's surface, and there's nothing else on your face to interfere with absorption," Polis says.

2. Sleep on Your Back

Note to Audrey Hepburn fans: Lying on your stomach is bad for "beauty sleep." The average head weighs 7 to 8 pounds -- a lot of pressure to be putting on your face every night. In fact, many dermatologists say they can tell what side of the face people sleep on by the number of wrinkles there.

3. Get a Lift

Sleep with your head elevated on two pillows, or put the headrest area of your bed on 2- to 4-inch pieces of wood. Gravity helps lymph and blood flow so fluid won't accumulate, Polis says.

4. Save Money, Not Wrinkles

At night you don't need to worry about eye treatments smearing your makeup, so slather on the richest formula you can. Polis swears by Aquaphor: "It conditions lashes and hydrates the delicate eye skin really well."

5. Sneak a Glow

Mix a drop of self-tanner into your night cream or use a cream that contains a bit of tan-producing DHA.

6. Avoid Carb Face

To wake with defined cheekbones, eat a high-protein, low-sugar dinner (try salmon and asparagus, a natural diuretic). Skip the rice, pasta and potatoes. "When our diet's high in glycemic carbohydrates, our features take on a soft, doughy appearance," says Connecticut dermatologist Nicholas Perricone.

7. Wrap It Up

To minimize A.M. frizz, sleep on a satin pillowcase or put your hair in a silk scarf. "Those fabrics are much softer than cotton, so there's less friction," says Harry Josh, a John Frieda stylist.

8. Find Your Inner Ballerina

Pile hair into a twist on the top of your head (use a scrunchie to avoid crimping). "In the morning you'll have major volume and beautiful waves," Josh says.

9. Turn on the Hair Conditioning

Sleep with a moisturizing treatment in damp hair overnight. We like Philip B. Katira Hair Masque, but any rich conditioner will do. Rinse in the morning.

10. Pop a Rooster Pill

Trust us, we were skeptical. But after swallowing two Wake Up on Time pills at 11 P.M., we found it much easier to get out of bed seven hours later. Created by a sleep-deprived single mother, the pills contain an energizing blend of thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, vitamins B6 and B12 and guarana-seed extract. It's formulated with a coating that releases ingredients into your bloodstream toward the end of your last sleep cycle, so you wake up feeling clear-headed, not fuzzy.

source:shine.yahoo.com